Thursday, May 31, 2012

Simplicity

Has it really been five months since my last post?? wow. That just goes to show how crazy life has been. And as much as i'd like to say its calmed down now, it hasn't. But im finding moments in the chaos to sit back, take it all in, and enjoy "the now". Before my adorable husband gets home, and while my not-so-little boy sleeps I though I would take a minute to write, and HOPEFULLY get into the habit of writing more often then every six months.
So amongst the car accident, the homework, the tantrums, the potty training (both boy and puppy) and everything else piling up, I felt a little overwhelmed, to say the least. I have a lot of stress, from all directions, and started to lose track of whats important. whats in front of me. and what I have to be thankful for. I praise God for my husband, who can handle stress better than any other person I've met, and even in the midst of the chaos, he has a way of bringing me back down when my head feels like its spinning. Sometimes I wonder what its like to live with me, a total control freak and spazoid, and when I picture that, it makes me love him even more for the love and patience he shows me. As much as I wished I would have turned to Gods word and just got on my knees and prayed when things got stressful, I didn't. No its my stubbornness and my control freak attitude that makes me think I can face it all on my own. Ive always been one to learn things the hard way, and in this case that proved to be true yet again. But by Gods grace he always picks me up and pulls me back to him. Hopefully next time it wont take me as long to remember that :) 
Its the moments like when my husband gives me the hug on our living room floor that makes it feel like the world slows down around me, and I know when im 80 years old I will remember that moment. It reminds me that when im stressing over the bills stacking up from the accident, that im SO grateful my husband is still in my arms, when an accident could have been a lot worse. when the world finally catches back up to me I realized Noah is climbing on kyles back and I have a clumsy German shepherd trying to step on my head. But for that moment, I was able to take it all in and realize how good I have it, how much im blessed.

Its all about having a moment, even in the middle of the chaos.

It is so easy for me to see the little things, that really don't matter. and when I do that, I see miss the things that God has set before me that really do matter. During this season of life I think what God is trying to teach me is profound, yet so simple: Love what you have. Don't stress about what you don't. realize what matters. Don't be distracted by anything else. The love you share, that's what will matter in eternity. not the bills you paid.And above all things, trust Him.
My prayers sound a lot like this today: Lord thank you for blessing me, far more than I deserve. Thank you for you love, and your willingness to help me. I cannot do it on my own. And I know I do not have to. I thank you God that when I try so hard to figure things out, and what you want me to do, you are always faithful. Ever ready to guide me and teach me. I love the depth yet simplicity in your ways. Continue to lead me Lord. And thank you for all you have done.
Mamas, love your babies. Don't miss the times to be silly, play trains, blow bubbles, read just one more story, or tickle until they just can't take it anymore :) They grow too fast. Mine will be bowing out his candles next month. Wives, love your husbands. Don't forget to laugh, and be best friends with him. And above, all love God, he is so good.